The Paintball Perspicacity
by Daedaleopsis
Summary: Paintball brings out the alpha male in Sheldon Cooper.


Paintball was only one of the activities that brought out the alpha male in Sheldon Cooper, PhD. Or perhaps one might say arrogant, demanding despot. Really, the argument could be made either way. But at the moment, Sheldon's team was dutifully following their orders. Raj was stationed as look-out at the crest of a low ridge facing south. Howard and Leonard were scouting the more thickly-wooded lowlands along the creek bed, while Penny and Sheldon were climbing a steep slope to the east.

Penny couldn't believe that she was actually having a hard time keeping up with Sheldon. Nothing other than his fierce competitiveness would have induced the brilliant scientist to take up a physical hobby of any sort. But since November, when Sheldon's team had suffered a series of humiliating defeats at the hands of Barry Kripke's team, Sheldon's wounded pride had led him to take up rock-climbing. Over the past few months, Penny had been eyeing the changes in his upper body with feminine appreciation, but had definitely kept her mouth shut. She was sure any comment on his appearance would only fluster him, or perhaps earn her a scathing remark on her shallow fixation on outward physical form. As they climbed, from time to time, he would actually pause and reach down a hand to help her up a particularly sharp incline. His hands were gloved, of course, so there was no actual physical contact, but still, Penny marveled, Sheldon seemed like a different person altogether when they were playing paintball.

They had reached the top of the hill and were warily making their way toward their destination: a stand of pine trees that offered a covert view over the small valley. Suddenly there was a whistling sound, a thwack, and a vivid splotch of paint just a few feet to their right. Sheldon reacted with lightning speed. He wrapped his arms around Penny and dove to the ground, rolling entangled together until they landed at the base of a small hummock of earth. _He wouldn't have been able to do _that_ a few months ago either_, Penny thought. Unbidden came the fluttering of butterfly sensations in the pit of her stomach. Sheldon lay squarely on top of her, his weight pressed solidly against the length of her body. The bright sunshine shone into his eyes as he raised his head cautiously, turning the irises a sparkling aquamarine blue. Sharply defined light and shadow highlighted the line of his jaw. Penny suddenly realized that she was having a hard time breathing normally.

Sheldon seemed completely oblivious to the effect he was having on her as he scanned the tree line for any sign of Kripke's team. "Don't move," he whispered into her ear, "Our position may have been compromised." Then he glanced down at her and froze. His face was just inches from hers, and he seemed unable to process the fact that he was in full head-to-toe contact with a woman—with Penny. His left arm was trapped beneath her body, but his right hand was free, and he reached a trembling gloved hand toward her face. Penny felt as if the whole world had just stopped as he gently brushed a sun-kissed tendril of hair away from her face.

"Sheldon…" his name escaped her lips on a soft exhale. His gaze was drawn irresistibly to her mouth. His palm cupped the side of her face as he slowly brought his mouth down upon hers. She felt as if electricity were coursing through her body, making every nerve reverberate. Merely a simple press of lips to lips, and yet Penny knew her entire life had just been turned upside down by this crazy, neurotic, whack-a-doodle, handsome, sexy man.

A sharp crack of a snapping twig brought them back to awareness too late. Another thwack announced the impact of a paintball directly in the center of Sheldon's back. Kripke stepped into their line of sight, his expression an odd mixture of surprise, envy and gloating. "Well, well, well, Coopah," he taunted, (although with his lisp, it sounded more like wew, wew, wew). "I didn't wealize you could be distwacted by a pwetty face. But you've wost the game."

Sheldon gaped, blushing a deep crimson as he realized that he had just been humiliated and defeated in one fell swoop by his arch-nemesis.

"Sheldon," Penny whispered, and as he turned his attention back to her, she winked at him. Then, in a move that could only have happened with the assistance of some unknown paintball deity, she pulled his gun from its holster at his side, turned it 180 degrees as she brought her arm up, and shot Kripke squarely in the chest.

For the first time in his life, Sheldon didn't mind losing at paintball.


End file.
